By Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
Publish yr note: First released in 2010
It's a summer time to recollect . . . on the Jersey Shore.
Giovanna "Gia" Spumanti and her cousin Isabella "Bella" Rizzoli are going to have the sexiest summer time ever. whereas they couldn't be extra different—pint-size Gia is a carefree, outspoken get together lady and Bella is a tall, slim athlete who continually holds her tongue—for the following month they're able to pouf up their hair, wear their stilettos, and absorb all that beach Heights, New Jersey, has to supply: scorching guidos, cool golf equipment, fried Oreos, and many tequila.
So a ways, Gia's summer time is on fireplace. among approximately burning down their rented bungalow, inventing the preferred "tan-tags" on the Tantastic Salon the place she works, and rescuing a shark at the seashore, she turns into a neighborhood megastar in a single day. fortunately, she meets the appropriate man to assist her maintain the flames below regulate. Firefighter Frank Rossi is precisely her sort: massive, tan, and Italian. yet is he tricky adequate to deal with Gia while issues rather warmth up?
Bella is greater than prepared for a few enjoyable within the solar. ultimately freed from her bonehead ex-boyfriend, she left domestic in Brooklyn with one target in brain: hooking up with a horny gorilla for a no-strings-attached summer time fling. very quickly, she lands a task top "Beat Up the Beat" dance sessions at a neighborhood health club, and is scooped up by way of Beemer-driving, preppy Bender Newberry. purely challenge: Bella can't get her romantic and ripped boss Tony "Trouble" Troublino out of her head. He's courting fabric. without warning, Bella's uncertain what she wishes.
The cousins quickly observe that for each good friend they make at the boardwalk, there also are competitors, slummers, and frenemies who will do whatever to destroy their summer—and test their dating. sooner than July ends, the bonds of kin and friendship may be stretched to the verge of collapse. Will the haters be triumphant, or will Gia and Bella locate love on the Shore?
For every body who loves MTV's hit truth exhibit, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's candy, humorous, and horny novel completely captures the warmth, the power, the thrill, and the drama of Jersey Shore.
Read or Download A Shore Thing PDF
Similar humor books
"I will return to interpreting David Quantick's very good Sparks now" - Neil Gaiman
"“If you opt to simply dwell in a single replacement fact be certain it’s the only during which you learn Sparks via David Quantick” – Ben Aaronovitch
When Paul Sparks is dumped through Alison, he makes a decision to take advantage of a gateway right into a million parallel universes to appear for a brand new girfriend - an Alison who won't sell off him. It's an easy plan - he's an easy guy - with the exception of the forces of the Random, a guy referred to as Joseph Kaye, and a cockroach that doesn't exist. Sci-fi comedy.
TheOatmeal. com’s preferred cat jokes, together with “How to puppy a Kitty” and “The Bobcats,” plus 15 new and never-before-seen catthemed comics, are offered during this hilarious assortment from manhattan instances best-selling writer Matthew Inman, a. okay. a. TheOatmeal. com. contains pull-out poster!
Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another aiding of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats provides a sidesplitting serving of cat comics in his new e-book, find out how to inform in the event that your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You.
If your cat is kneading you, that's now not an indication of love. Your cat is de facto checking your inner organs for weak point. in case your cat brings you a lifeless animal, this isn't a present. It's a caution. find out how to inform in the event that your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, incredible supplying of cat comics, evidence, and educational publications from the artistic wonderland at TheOatmeal. com.
How to inform in case your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You provides fan favorites, akin to "Cat vs. Internet," "How to puppy a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat jokes. This Oatmeal assortment is a must have from Mr. Oats! A pullout poster is integrated behind the book.
Copyright 1995 by means of Eugene Anthony
In case you ve ever been requested to calculate the reside load for a herd of elephants. .. for those who ve ever outfitted a sand fortress to review soil mechanics. .. when you ve ever needed to make a choice from your date and your favourite bridge. .. . .. Brian Brenner has written the publication for you. Bridginess: extra of the Civil Engineering existence unearths Brenner turning his pen and his signature wit to the topics of city sprawl, airport infrastructure making plans, and, in fact, bridges.
Extra info for A Shore Thing
A variation is to get horizontal. juice, juke, jumble, jumble giblets, jum(m), jump, jump bones, knock, knock it off, knock the boots, know, labour leather, lallygag, lap clap, lay, lay off with, lay out, lay (some) pipe, lay the hip, lay the leg, lay tube, lay the track, leap, leave before the gospel, leave shoes under the bed, lib, liberate, lie feet uppermost, lie on, lie under, lie with, lift a leg on a woman, lift one's leg, light the lamp, line, lob in, love, lubricate, make, 38 The Bald-Headed Hermit If you see Kate: an oblique reference tof-u-c-k, used by children and adolescents.
Clean, modest, moral, nunlike, platonic, priest-like, pure, spotless, stainless, undefiled, unknown to men, unknown to women, unripe fruit, unspoiled, unstained, unsullied, untouched, upright, vestal, virginal, virtuous, wholesome, without sin Mr. Clean: refers to a brand name household cleaner; links cleanliness with sexual restraint. Cheat on (to) see Adultery, Cuckoldry, Mistress Few current slang terms for monogamy exist, with the amusing exception o/monotony. basketeer, burn, cat around, chippy on, cruise, dilly-dally, dog on, doublecross, engage in an extra-marital affair, engage in extracurricular activities, fan one's ass, fan one's pussy, fish, flag, flirt, fool around, give up rhythm, go on a fishing expedition, hit and run, horse around, jack around, jazz around, Philander: from the Greek philandros, meaning loving men.
Premature ejaculation. ranch, reach the big 0, release, send out the troops, shoot, shoot off, shoot one's batch, shoot one's cream, shoot one's creamy load, shoot one's load, shoot one's roe, shoot one's wad, Quentin Quickfire: a premature ejaculator. shoot over the stubble, shoot white, spend, spermatize, spew, spill, splooge, spooch, spunk, squeeze up, squirt, throw up, upshoot, whitewash Spunk: British term from the 1800s; referred to a man's courage as well as his ejaculate. End a Relationship (including Divorce) abandon, air, annul, blow off, break up, bust up, call it quits, chuck, dedomicile, desert, ditch, do the frank, do the off, Dear John letters: emerged in the armed forces during World War II to signify a soldier's receiving a letter of rejection from his girlfriend back home.
A Shore Thing by Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi